Leonora to Mars

by The God Awful Small Affairs

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1.
05:52
2.
06:26
3.
4.
5.
06:27

credits

released March 10, 2018

The God Awful Small Affairs are:
Missy - vocals, guitar
Jake - bass
Bryan - drums
Mark - guitar

All songs written by Missy Renae, performed by The God Awful Small Affairs

Recorded at Wolf’s Den Productions, in Chicago, IL
Mixed, engineered, and mastered by Erik Lobo-Gilbert

All sounds made by guitar, bass, drum, and vocals (and bathtub)

Album artwork by:
Samuel Chen
Hadley Gephart
Forrest Marie
Adam Polak
Xeno Coufal

Photography by Mark Muniz

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The God Awful Small Affairs Chicago, Illinois

| femme fatale space rock |

Time Dilation, Demons, Joan of Arc's Lover, and the Science Fiction of your Most Personal Journal Entry

~ from the abandoned cathedral at the end of the galaxy

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Track Name: Persephone
Mother, take me to the mountain
I am old enough to know
Of all the secrets that we buried safe in blankets of simple snow
Mother take me to the mountains
It is time to let me grow
Lift me high and plant me flowers
Waist roped tight and let me go

Blast from the past last night I found you
Drinking death down his arms around you
Surface skins swells you
Black cat cross compels you
Three faced and chargin my way come Cerberus come hell
You said that you'd always keep me safe
Now I'm in this bar
I smell Summer start and a wild fire haze
You said you would be you said you would be
A left handed turn in the maze
Turn in my maze
Now present tense I'll lean against this wall
She's premeditated
Wearing a face like I kept her waiting

Epitaph in stone, champagne glasses thrown
She says oh won't you dance with me
Fingernails in bone pulling at my clothes and she throws me to Persephone.
I say I have no quarrel with you love
With you love
I have no quarrel with you love
With you love
I can't breathe

Pressed to my chest less let her guess
That my heart heals so slowly
I don't need her knowing
Blue heron swear on show me
Liquid language choke me
Driving dirt into our knee caps
The earth swallows me whole we
Pace with pistols and our white flags raised
Now I'm in this bar I feel like autumn art and a nose bleed phase
I said I would be I said I would be
A partition of faith
A fetishized waif
Present tense I will search for sense in it all
She's undedicated
Regression dressed aggression like she's the one that's baited

Holy holy
Praise praise
Praise praise
Holy holy
Stay Sephie stay stay Sephie stay

I can't breathe

Mother
Waist roped tight
And let me go
Track Name: Chainsmoke
You were wearing that leather jacket
and a scowl upon your face
One hand was tapping a rhythm
and the other was around her waist
You were so familiar in that unfamiliar place
I can take this nostalgia
but not this bitter aftertaste
I cooked you breakfast
I wrote you songs
and kept you awake at night
You said you loved me
held me for so long
and let me win most of our fights
but now I lie here suffocating until daylight
because these fingers just won’t play right
won’t convey right
so I’m begging you
I’m begging you

What do you want me to say
That I can keep choking back memories
to try and keep this bile at bay
What do you want me to do
Just chainsmoke in the corner
while you figure out the mystery that is you
I once loved you deep as sin
now you’re just a stranger
wearing my lover’s skin

I’m waking up at night my dreams stuck in my throat
because this bed’s too big for one
all of the pieces that we’ve tied together
are surely becoming undone
All your past words screaming to be sung
I think instead
I’ll just run

Don’t you want me to, you want me, you want me to
be happy
aren’t I supposed to be, supposed to be, supposed to
be happy
I thought I made, I thought that I made you happy
But I didn’t did I baby
and there’s no asking why lately
so I’m leaving
I’m leaving

Cause what do you want me to say
That I can act like everything’s ok
What do you want me to do
Just pretend I don’t see exactly where I lose
Because I lost you
I lost you baby

You’ll just sit there with your fake face
with that smile sewn in place
and tell me
do you feel like a rock star now
Now that I’m nowhere to be found
and there’s nothing left of us to be salvaged
I tell you
after all of this fighting
all of this racket
I close my eyes
I see you wearing that leather jacket
Track Name: Do Not Mind the Bathtub
You’ve got me pegged
got me pegged
By those words you said
You said I’m crazy
So, i’m crazy, if i’m crazy
Then you’re right
I knew you were lonely
You were lonely
By those books you read
The way they tumbled onto the floor
Off the corners of your bed
I’ll turn to go
I said
Turn off the light, stay here tonight
I’ll touch you slow
Turn off the light, stay here tonight
I’ll touch you slow
And I couldn’t say goodnight
I couldn’t say goodnight
Quite yet
Could you

Just say you love me or go home
Now jesus christ it’s simple
Scream you need me
Or just
Leave me alone

I saw your future once and it scared me

After all the fighting’s done will you tie me to your mast
Will you push me in the hole
Hold my face in both your hands
In semblance of past romance
Say beauty’s worth waging war
Ah, Sisyphus, What truth is this
Absurdity burn me, you sea witch

Are you lady of the lake with one undone stitch
Blood E lizabeth on a hill
Till concave it became a ditch
She says ‘do not mind the bathtub
Overflowing dark for years
Do not mind the bathtub
I hope he’ll never find me here’

Douse me in shame
Me in shame
With those faults you named
You want to change me, so come change me
If you change me, then i’ll stay
Do not mind the bathtub

You saw my impatience, my impatience
With those clocks I made
The way the hands, they never meet
Just sound like your boots on the street
I fall asleep
Thumbing through future biographies
And i said
Turn off the light, stay here tonight
I’ll touch you slow
Turn off the light, stay here tonight
I’ll touch you slow
And i couldn’t say goodnight
I couldn’t say goodnight
I couldn’t say goodnight
Quite yet could you

Do not mind the bathtub

Just say you love me or go home
Just scream you need me
Or else
Leave me alone
Track Name: Take a Train to Galesburg
My apologies for my
Far away demeanor I
Had no intention of being rude
I will try and keep my thoughts on you
No its nothing
I can cope
Exercising past live’s ghosts
Sometimes the smell drips on so strong
Of gasoline and evening fog
Juniper and gin
Lavender and wax
Stoplight in my periphery and
Baseless unbound friendship pacts
I think I’ll take a train to Galesburg

Back when he once knew he loved me
Jealous god want nothing but me
Baby, emotive fake pointalize nakeed
all red your voice a puncture in my
head
Back when I let fire drive me
Leonora to Mars your storm inside me
Saline
No sickness cured or witches burned
all lead I drank your water till i bled

I am
The lengthening waves of a passing
strange noise
I am
The lingering cigarette smoke out of a
stranger's window in small town Illinois

I can cough up blood in your guest
bathroom
I can argue with your god on this bar
room stool
I can syncopate my breathing to a spectre
leaving me

All these words are merely gestures
Into negative space where your face
festers
Smoke with
Playstation boys and their soft serve
dispensaries
Do they think that they’re impressing me
when all the time in memory

He’s
Singing in the kitchen
And I
Don’t dare turn the lock

He speaks of the garden of eden
He speaks of the garden of eden
I want freedom
He says ‘oh Aristotle’
He say ‘oh Aristotle’
I say we’ve been living hostile
For three years now

I don’t know how
I”ll sleep
Without your teeth inside the side of me
When every separate creature that made
up my body
Dreamed its own dream of you
Until my human hummed
He said ‘I think I’ll renew my lease on
you’
Cherry Street church bells ringing as I
cum

You’re the sound of the train

Factor faxum fossils
I’ve foreseen the fall of man
Fingerprint of fire
Won’t you tell me all I am
Tell me all I am
Tell me all I am

He says ‘we should have stayed in
Galesburg.’
I say ‘no’--

For if you’re so sure you loved me
Why would you need something not me
Baby, emotive fake pointalize nake-
(ed) all red your voice a puncture in my
head
And if I let fire drive me
I would burn out the light inside me
Save me
Vision snow it clouds my view
The room re-orientates round you
You lift me to the ceiling
You leave my head hits the floor
And I don’t think I can do this anymore

My apologies for my
Far away demeanor I
Was somewhere else another time
I cannot explain the kraft works of my
mind
No its nothing
I can cope
Washout my nero-pathways with soap
--------------------
Track Name: Hands
When I first saw them everyone
I craved a fast car or a gun
A cigarette a way to run

Only want strong men but
Strong men get ruined by me
All stuck in anger wallowing
all still life perfect till I make them leave
I make them leave

I lay all bare in hopes that there
will be a moment as we shake
Some higher ground that I can take
Then I can make you say

You’ve got me with my hands up
I was wrong
So, throw me down love me now love me back take
me back
Make me young
You’ve got me with my hands up
This war is through
So, bite my bones trace my bones take me home
make me home.
Take me with you
Take me with you

For your god is my god
is my god is your god
is your lodge and your place is with me
Beseech me never to leave

My words aren’t working now
You want to show me how
To verbalize what you think
I want I said I wrote down

Silence was never love
We are who we’re brought up to be
Leave girls alone
they grow up to become women like me

I craved a change in name
For it was bitter unto me
But in your mouth
It writhes so differently
See me now I am determined

I want you with your hands up.

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