Mother, take me to the mountain I am old enough to know Of all the secrets that we buried safe in blankets of simple snow Mother take me to the mountains It is time to let me grow Lift me high and plant me flowers Waist roped tight and let me go Blast from the past last night I found you Drinking death down his arms around you Surface skins swells you Black cat cross compels you Three faced and chargin my way come Cerberus come hell You said that you'd always keep me safe Now I'm in this bar I smell Summer start and a wild fire haze You said you would be you said you would be A left handed turn in the maze Turn in my maze Now present tense I'll lean against this wall She's premeditated Wearing a face like I kept her waiting Epitaph in stone, champagne glasses thrown She says oh won't you dance with me Fingernails in bone pulling at my clothes and she throws me to Persephone. I say I have no quarrel with you love With you love I have no quarrel with you love With you love I can't breathe Pressed to my chest less let her guess That my heart heals so slowly I don't need her knowing Blue heron swear on show me Liquid language choke me Driving dirt into our knee caps The earth swallows me whole we Pace with pistols and our white flags raised Now I'm in this bar I feel like autumn art and a nose bleed phase I said I would be I said I would be A partition of faith A fetishized waif Present tense I will search for sense in it all She's undedicated Regression dressed aggression like she's the one that's baited Holy holy Praise praise Praise praise Holy holy Stay Sephie stay stay Sephie stay I can't breathe Mother Waist roped tight And let me go

You were wearing that leather jacket and a scowl upon your face One hand was tapping a rhythm and the other was around her waist You were so familiar in that unfamiliar place I can take this nostalgia but not this bitter aftertaste I cooked you breakfast I wrote you songs and kept you awake at night You said you loved me held me for so long and let me win most of our fights but now I lie here suffocating until daylight because these fingers just won’t play right won’t convey right so I’m begging you I’m begging you What do you want me to say That I can keep choking back memories to try and keep this bile at bay What do you want me to do Just chainsmoke in the corner while you figure out the mystery that is you I once loved you deep as sin now you’re just a stranger wearing my lover’s skin I’m waking up at night my dreams stuck in my throat because this bed’s too big for one all of the pieces that we’ve tied together are surely becoming undone All your past words screaming to be sung I think instead I’ll just run Don’t you want me to, you want me, you want me to be happy aren’t I supposed to be, supposed to be, supposed to be happy I thought I made, I thought that I made you happy But I didn’t did I baby and there’s no asking why lately so I’m leaving I’m leaving Cause what do you want me to say That I can act like everything’s ok What do you want me to do Just pretend I don’t see exactly where I lose Because I lost you I lost you baby You’ll just sit there with your fake face with that smile sewn in place and tell me do you feel like a rock star now Now that I’m nowhere to be found and there’s nothing left of us to be salvaged I tell you after all of this fighting all of this racket I close my eyes I see you wearing that leather jacket

You’ve got me pegged got me pegged By those words you said You said I’m crazy So, i’m crazy, if i’m crazy Then you’re right I knew you were lonely You were lonely By those books you read The way they tumbled onto the floor Off the corners of your bed I’ll turn to go I said Turn off the light, stay here tonight I’ll touch you slow Turn off the light, stay here tonight I’ll touch you slow And I couldn’t say goodnight I couldn’t say goodnight Quite yet Could you Just say you love me or go home Now jesus christ it’s simple Scream you need me Or just Leave me alone I saw your future once and it scared me After all the fighting’s done will you tie me to your mast Will you push me in the hole Hold my face in both your hands In semblance of past romance Say beauty’s worth waging war Ah, Sisyphus, What truth is this Absurdity burn me, you sea witch Are you lady of the lake with one undone stitch Blood E lizabeth on a hill Till concave it became a ditch She says ‘do not mind the bathtub Overflowing dark for years Do not mind the bathtub I hope he’ll never find me here’ Douse me in shame Me in shame With those faults you named You want to change me, so come change me If you change me, then i’ll stay Do not mind the bathtub You saw my impatience, my impatience With those clocks I made The way the hands, they never meet Just sound like your boots on the street I fall asleep Thumbing through future biographies And i said Turn off the light, stay here tonight I’ll touch you slow Turn off the light, stay here tonight I’ll touch you slow And i couldn’t say goodnight I couldn’t say goodnight I couldn’t say goodnight Quite yet could you Do not mind the bathtub Just say you love me or go home Just scream you need me Or else Leave me alone

My apologies for my Far away demeanor I Had no intention of being rude I will try and keep my thoughts on you No its nothing I can cope Exercising past live’s ghosts Sometimes the smell drips on so strong Of gasoline and evening fog Juniper and gin Lavender and wax Stoplight in my periphery and Baseless unbound friendship pacts I think I’ll take a train to Galesburg Back when he once knew he loved me Jealous god want nothing but me Baby, emotive fake pointalize nakeed all red your voice a puncture in my head Back when I let fire drive me Leonora to Mars your storm inside me Saline No sickness cured or witches burned all lead I drank your water till i bled I am The lengthening waves of a passing strange noise I am The lingering cigarette smoke out of a stranger's window in small town Illinois I can cough up blood in your guest bathroom I can argue with your god on this bar room stool I can syncopate my breathing to a spectre leaving me All these words are merely gestures Into negative space where your face festers Smoke with Playstation boys and their soft serve dispensaries Do they think that they’re impressing me when all the time in memory He’s Singing in the kitchen And I Don’t dare turn the lock He speaks of the garden of eden He speaks of the garden of eden I want freedom He says ‘oh Aristotle’ He say ‘oh Aristotle’ I say we’ve been living hostile For three years now I don’t know how I”ll sleep Without your teeth inside the side of me When every separate creature that made up my body Dreamed its own dream of you Until my human hummed He said ‘I think I’ll renew my lease on you’ Cherry Street church bells ringing as I cum You’re the sound of the train Factor faxum fossils I’ve foreseen the fall of man Fingerprint of fire Won’t you tell me all I am Tell me all I am Tell me all I am He says ‘we should have stayed in Galesburg.’ I say ‘no’-- For if you’re so sure you loved me Why would you need something not me Baby, emotive fake pointalize nake- (ed) all red your voice a puncture in my head And if I let fire drive me I would burn out the light inside me Save me Vision snow it clouds my view The room re-orientates round you You lift me to the ceiling You leave my head hits the floor And I don’t think I can do this anymore My apologies for my Far away demeanor I Was somewhere else another time I cannot explain the kraft works of my mind No its nothing I can cope Washout my nero-pathways with soap --------------------

When I first saw them everyone I craved a fast car or a gun A cigarette a way to run Only want strong men but Strong men get ruined by me All stuck in anger wallowing all still life perfect till I make them leave I make them leave I lay all bare in hopes that there will be a moment as we shake Some higher ground that I can take Then I can make you say You’ve got me with my hands up I was wrong So, throw me down love me now love me back take me back Make me young You’ve got me with my hands up This war is through So, bite my bones trace my bones take me home make me home. Take me with you Take me with you For your god is my god is my god is your god is your lodge and your place is with me Beseech me never to leave My words aren’t working now You want to show me how To verbalize what you think I want I said I wrote down Silence was never love We are who we’re brought up to be Leave girls alone they grow up to become women like me I craved a change in name For it was bitter unto me But in your mouth It writhes so differently See me now I am determined I want you with your hands up.