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Red Gate Woods : Love Songs and Intrusive Thoughts

by The God Awful Small Affairs

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1.
Mother take me to the mountains I am old enough to know I’ve been wondering weary naked Barefoot on a travels road I close my eyes I am afraid I melt this snow I curse this grave 4 am Fast asleep Vision of you and me Nathanial Hawthore A Wisconsin beach Good at beginnings Concise and moral end But we get a little muddied in the middle, don’t we Get a little muddied in the middle, I see Danger up a ways A denser storm cloud than all our darkest days And I’m tugging at your shirt sleeve Surly you’ll see That I’m tugging art your shirt sleeve, darling Find shelter with me And you ask me to stay And I say Noway No way No Way I need a miracle and miracle a miracle again This time i’m sure he’ll let me down I need a miracle a miracle a miracle again This time i’m sure he’ll let me drown While he says Do not mind the bathtub I will cast these bones They always lead me true But I’ll grind them to dust If they Say I’m not for you Forget me nots In an empty plot I’m not one to be told what to do Set the field on fire When they say i’m not for Say i’m not for You know I’m not for you. You’ve got me pegged Got me pegged By those words you said You said I’m crazy, so I’m crazy And you’re right I know I know I know I know I know I know I said - I know what I am I’m difficult I’m difficult I’m much too much to be Trusted in what I want or be Spoken to too reasonably You said listen So I listened So i am still listening I’m not as pure as you inferred Soap in your listerine But I Make you Believe I will cast these bones They always lead me true But I’ll grind them to dust If they Say I’m not for you Forget-me-nots In an empty plot I’m not one to be told what to do Set the field on fire When they say i’m not for Say i’m not for You said I’m not for you. Hyperventilate Hyperventilate Through jealousy Like steroid steam Just relax your lungs Just relax your lungs And breath Just say you love me or go home Say you need me or else Leave me alone 900 miles on the same road Your solipsistic summer self And your syrup in my bones-
2.
I’ll pull the nails out of my heels I might bleed and clot won’t walk away I’ll fake belief that makes this real Say we should make camp at lovers bay Fold this body into paper cranes Say the grass is greener where it's tilled Weight on my arms till the bow does breaks You say we should set fire to lovers field Lord, That's my baby He's the keeper of my stories Lord, that's my savior Tells me all true love is gory Lord, that’s my baby One touch and you’ll leave me restless Lord, that's my baby Says real world eat me for breakfast I’ll make it worse Make it worse I’m not even sure I can feel hurt anymore I’ll make it worse Make it worse I’m not sure I feel it anymore If someone could but hold this map Then I could collapse Then I could collapse If you’d be an oasis that might Let me collapse Please let me collapse Please I’m so weary Won’t you rest with me tonight and Press your self of near me In my mind I’m screaming myself blue Into red gate woods After you When I was younger Was easier to believe That love need not be All that i dreamed But I’d rather be starving than at a table of food Made of plastic and paper when I could be Sustained by you If I send up a flair Will you answer I’ve been stuck in this defensive cavernous stance err Two years of personality stretch marks Self discovery, trials Anteing up truth through music like bile And I will dig deeper find resilience stalk piled But i’ll dream of your hands Still unknown and unbridaled Oh It’s so easy To find Someone who needs me I just gotta know Is there a life form out there That can hold their own Lord thats my baby Lord thats my savior Lord thats my baby One touch and you'll leave me restless That's my baby Shake em up and poor him over ice and call it breakfast I’ll make it worse make it worse I’m not even sure I can feel hurt anymore I’ll make it worse make it worse I’m not sure I feel it I don’t think I can feel anything I don’t think I can feel anything I don’t think I can feel anything I don’t think I can feel anything I’ll pull the nails out of my heels I might bleed and clot won’t walk away Do with this body what you feels And bury me too deep at lovers bay Bury me too deep at lovers bay.
3.
Song 04:33
Well I’m not sure where my childhood's gone. I saw it creeping round here yester year. But winter came and I took the blame for things I should have just chalked up to fear. Summer breathed her warnings into me but she stole away, a thief in the night. She took all we had every god damned last piece of our salvation Left us groping in the grayish-ness of light. I lost my mind Slept in blankets weighted with time I awoke to find you still sleeping next to me. Now i’m terribly afraid of all the perfect love we’ve made. I’m so sorry, Never said loving me was easy. But if you want a song I would write them all for you. Said if you want a song I could write them all for you. This whole damn month my ship’s been more than sunk you put on your stern face to get me out of bed. But sorrow knows not fair and gives me more than my share takes me down paths I’d rather not be lead. You keep me warm. Talk of spring and summer storms. Say good weather is just around the bend. Through all this dark you somehow left your mark. I’d be proud to live such a life again. and if you want a song I would write them all for you. Said if you want a song I would write them all for you.
4.
He’s been looking down for seven months now Became what he despised from desired somehow Failed every last spell we case Made love half assed As some homoge olly oxen free to the good days that have passed But if you don’t want to be here We don’t have to be here now And if you don’t want to be here Why are we here now When we could just start over Somewhere down the river See I could sling drinks at any local bar Your wine wreathed winner It’s weak coffee, neon diners Me sleeping in your lap I’ll climb over you to switch drivers A young Springsteen drove like that Gas station hats I’ve been looking down for seven months now The height was such a high till the later unwound Your eyes are always red From weed, tears, or words unsaid In this bar I’m being barred from being part of the life we both had wed But if you don’t want to be here We don’t have to be here now And if you don’t want to be here Why are we here now When we could just start over Somewhere down the river See i can sing songs at any local spot Your sweet ol’ sinner I know it sounds clichet not to give a fuck about a place But my allegiance to those mornings with my neck against your face I’m so sorry sorry That I made my dreams your dreams I thought If I made you me That loving you’d be easier We’ve been looking down for seven months now I know that you despise me but I’ll fix it right now I’ve been turning off and on the lights in every room If I focus on life’s questions I’m never focusing on you All of these new shaddows Armed with a jar, I can catch them Our lives became unfamiliar And I’m guilty I let them. If you don’t want to be here Don’t be here now I’m so sorry sorry That I made my dreams your dreams I thought If I made you me That loving you’d be easier Oh wisdom of ancient creeks Narsisius I’m drowning, I’m drowning. I could just start over Me and the river See I can sling drinks at any local bar.
5.
Crash Course 05:27
I don’t recall that car crash That they said was your fault But with cell phone costs and memory loss I believed it all along Now I’m not sure of that punishment That they said I’d accrue By looking like you were looking like I’ve been looking a lot like you I never saw that painting Before it was destroyed It talked of distant rains-es And the mountain plains-es And my future in illinois Now I’m not sure of that punishment That they said I’d accrue By wanting like you were wanting I’ve been wanting to be like you. You came home Locked doors Woke us up to Meteor They came with trash bags And their condescending tones In softness they thought Malleable In intuition They thought Animal And with all the grace of savior zeal Asked you If you liked your cage and you said Kindness You want to tell me about kindness Well what kind of necessary evil must I Swallow to quench rage When its a Kindness You want to teach me about kindness Well in my mind All of the time The quandary Where do I put rage when its a Crash Course Take notes On my hero Unlearn all those things they said you were Precipice of Perception Unearth ignorance I was wrong Forgive me I was young As for all those fights that they Told me you caused With metronomes, student loans, masculin tones I believed them all along Now I’m not sure of that punishment They promised I’d accrue By talking like you were talking I’ve been talking a lot like you I skipped town Bled sound I am what my lord saith I am when I am not around I minced words Made sure The journey to my heart was made solely of detours I thought hard worker was innate chiselled On my small bones autonomously But I am For the hands that stilled me Crash Course Take notes On my hero Unlearn all those things they said you were Precipice of Perception Unearth ignorance I was wrong Forgive me I was young If you wallow you’re Gonna choke on mud And if you guide me I’ll always know what's to be done And if you wallow you’re Gonna choke on mud And if you come for me Be warned You know Whos in my blood.

about

All songs recorded in single takes onto 2 track

If we were hanging out after a party and you asked me to play you a song, it might sound like one of these.

credits

released March 14, 2020

All songs written and performed by Missy Preston

Sound Engineer - Hunter Funk <3

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The God Awful Small Affairs Chicago, Illinois

| Them Fatale Space Rock |
~ from the abandoned hallowed diner at the end of the galaxy

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