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about

4 my mom

lyrics

I don’t recall that car crash
That they said was your fault
But with cell phone costs and memory loss
I believed it all along
Now I’m not sure of that punishment
That they said I’d accrue
By looking like you were looking like
I’ve been looking a lot like you

I never saw that painting
Before it was destroyed
It talked of distant rains-es
And the mountain plains-es
And my future in illinois
Now I’m not sure of that punishment
That they said I’d accrue
By wanting like you were wanting
I’ve been wanting to be like you.

You came home
Locked doors
Woke us up to
Meteor
They came with trash bags
And their condescending tones
In softness they thought
Malleable
In intuition
They thought
Animal
And with all the grace of savior zeal
Asked you
If you liked your cage and you said

Kindness
You want to tell me about kindness
Well what kind of necessary evil must I
Swallow to quench rage
When its a
Kindness
You want to teach me about kindness
Well in my mind
All of the time
The quandary
Where do I put rage when its a

Crash Course
Take notes
On my hero
Unlearn all those things they said you were
Precipice of
Perception
Unearth ignorance
I was wrong
Forgive me
I was young

As for all those fights that they
Told me you caused
With metronomes, student loans, masculin tones
I believed them all along
Now I’m not sure of that punishment
They promised I’d accrue
By talking like you were talking
I’ve been talking a lot like you

I skipped town
Bled sound
I am what my lord saith I am when I am not around
I minced words
Made sure
The journey to my heart was made solely of detours
I thought hard worker was innate chiselled
On my small bones autonomously
But I am
For the hands that stilled me

Crash Course
Take notes
On my hero
Unlearn all those things they said you were
Precipice of
Perception
Unearth ignorance
I was wrong
Forgive me
I was young

If you wallow you’re
Gonna choke on mud
And if you guide me
I’ll always know what's to be done
And if you wallow you’re
Gonna choke on mud
And if you come for me
Be warned
You know
Whos in my
blood.

credits

from Red Gate Woods : Love Songs and Intrusive Thoughts, released March 14, 2020

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The God Awful Small Affairs Chicago, Illinois

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